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Post by Ambrienne on May 12, 2009 15:09:26 GMT -5
Oh, yeah. That'll go over really well. Forget the Crown; we have table salt! :: poses with cannister of salt held high :: And then the Immortal's Circle gets renamed something like Knights of the Dinner Table. Which, once again, puts power back in the hands of the chefs.
...Wait, does that mean that the Zeirites will be like glorified slugs? Ew. Scratch that. We might require a Deep Mist to blind our sight while someone washes the messy aftermath away.
(Skill from the Tales series)
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Post by Solana on May 12, 2009 22:25:04 GMT -5
....ooh, did not think about that part. Two guesses on who would get THAT job, supplying massive Water Waves to get rid of all of that. Besides, if the things are controlled by that Hive mind, then they'd probably catch on after a while and stop eating the treats. Then I guess it would be a matter of turning the treats into some kind of Molotov Cocktail to get the same effect. Although I'm all for giving more power to the chefs. An army marches on its stomach, after all. (Boss attack in Megaman V, one of Dyne's attacks in FFVII.)
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Post by Ambrienne on May 12, 2009 22:51:04 GMT -5
That would explain why the armed forces' crawling technique is so effective. Unless you're trying to get somewhere quickly. Ah, well, without being a One Man Army, you can't do it all. You just have to SOLDIER onward. We've got to aim high. After all, this isn't a Duck Hunt.
And, if you're wondering what we're aiming at, Everyone, fire at Will! (He's in the back.)
...As long as you don't stick me in a Splinter Cell for the entire phalanx of armed puns, I think we can say that that went well.
(Class level in Makai Kingdom, FF7 ref, everyone knows this one, quote from a skill tech description in Makai Kingdom, Tom Clancy game, unit from the Civilization series.)
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Post by Solana on May 12, 2009 23:10:00 GMT -5
My goodness, you're a Single Action Army of puns all by yourself. Been eating your Wheaties or maybe some of your famous cookies, perhaps? ....wait, that's it! PUNS!!! Never mind dangerous chemicals or hoses or something that can be turned against us! We'll take them down with something far more sinister that has no defense. It'll be complete Pandemonium with nothing more than the power of our words and brilliantly nasty puns. We'll just have to be certain that our side is well guarded against such an onslaught. We'll need many pairs of earmuffs and maybe an elaborate system of funny hand gestures to coordinate our puns like a perfectly synchronized water ballet instead of having them get jumbled together. (Gun in Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, location in FFIX.)
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Post by Ambrienne on May 12, 2009 23:54:32 GMT -5
That could be tricky... a real Butterfly Dance to coordinate. But if we do the puns in pairs, we'll have to make sure to agree on ones that don't suffer a translation issue. I don't have to look very far into my Azure Dreams to be able to point out a prime example of jokes falling flat making people slap happy. And, of course, the person they're slapping is you. It's enough to make a person feel Selfish enough not to ever build a stage that will trigger that event. Because, even when you get all the answers right, that section of the game isn't that funny. ...I wonder what a Zeirite finds amusing anyway. Or would it be better to make the puns into such stinkers that it would be considered a form of Bio terrorism? (Jean tech, PS game, character in said game, FF poison tech)
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Post by Solana on May 13, 2009 0:34:32 GMT -5
My Edea is to go with the bio terrorism level ones, of course. If all goes well, we won't have to worry about translations or the proper subject matter.
Are you familiar with Piers Anthony's Xanth series? (If not, it's a wonderful fantasy land that's run in puns, and mysteriously shaped and located exactly where Florida is.) Specifically, I'm thinking of the Harpies. They were so good at cussing that they could make foliage burn with a single word, and that was before using the naughty ones prohibited by the Adult Conspiracy.
So what I'm thinking is that the same could apply to puns that are just so beautifully terrible that they are an affront to language itself. This would cause a similar effect that would be proportional to both the volume of the voice and sheer awfulness of the pun. And if we REALLY wanted to be cruel, we could Hang Ten or twenty amplifiers around the battle to make it just that much worse. We'd just have to make sure that they were pointed away from our guys.
(Character in FFVIII, monster in KQV, one of Doc's techniques in Crono Cross.)
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Post by Ambrienne on May 13, 2009 13:22:45 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm pretty familiar with the Xanth series, except for a few of the earlier ones which the local library didn't stock and I couldn't find for sale. I'm beginning to wonder with a couple of the latest ones about whether he's getting bored writing them, though. It doesn't seem to... I don't know, shine as much. But then, that could be simply because he's going out of his way to put in so many reader submitted puns in. If we're going to affront the language, we'll have to make sure that 'ain't' makes a regular appearance. It should be possible with so much rhyming potential inherent. It will be a snap to Riddel our way out of any sticky situations. Let's just hope that our foes have swallowed lots of English teachers lately for maximum effectiveness. (CC character)
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Post by Solana on May 13, 2009 22:05:45 GMT -5
I think you're right. It's turning into the same story over and over, just with different characters. There are well over twenty in the series by now.
Certainly we'll have to add 'ain't' to our Roaring Forces of pun nastiness. Or to quote Raven from Teen Titans, "Ooh, bad grammar. That oughta scare him." We could also add improper verb conjugations like "brunged" or "sleeped" or things like that.
I can think of a few teachers that would have a tough time swallowing that kind of attack, including history and even biology.
There was actually one history teacher I had in high school that I clashed with quite often on the writing thing and in general. He had a kind of an old school idea of what an honors student is supposed to be, and I tend to rebel when others try to smush me into a mold. He told me that I wasn't supposed to write so colorfully and that I had to learn how to write boring first, and made comments on my fantasy novels.
Needless to say, I just wrote nice and boring for his class and have hung onto my own style ever since. Teachers should let people develop their own voices with proper grammar, and wiser teachers in college did that.
(Level in Ecco: Defender of the Future, and there was a Teen Titans videogame.)
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Post by Ambrienne on May 13, 2009 23:19:31 GMT -5
That reminds me... I got reprimanded a couple of times for trying to make history papers interesting. ;D Oh, the statements I made were completely factual, hypothetical situations were obvious as such, but how dare you enjoy yourself writing it and try to entertain the reader! ...Well, most of my teachers weren't like that, but there were a few. One of them was the one I had for the senior project, too. He didn't even appreciate a seemingly contradictory title that really wasn't and actually described the movement (or should I say, lack thereof) that the paper was about. But he didn't even blink when I brought one of my source books to the classroom in a plastic container that was meant for food, because I didn't want the pages to get bent carrying it around with all the other books in my backpack. Apparently, odd behavior is accepted without question, but imagination is suspect. Oh, I know. You could have responded to the 'not writing colorfully' with, "I don't understand; I only used one color of pen/pencil/ink on this paper." Okay, so I never would have actually said something like that to a teacher. Not unless they'd shown such a sense of humor to begin with. Which is why when the teacher of the Computer Graphics class I took said something about the virtual 'robot' I made with 3-D object drawing routine, I just had to respond in kind. Teacher: That looks kind of like a trashcan. Me: R2-D2 was a trash can. He did not argue with that, because it was, after all, true. Off course!Ahem. We were on the wonderful subject of bad grammar. Where we dun learned us some kewl wurds. ...Well, we could do all those things they tell you not to, like letting your participles dangle and splitting your infinitives down the middle and, just for kicks, say things like hisself. Which is kind of wrong, because it looks like you're describing someone who's half snake, half elf. Do our enemies even care about bad sentence structure? ...If they really absorb everything they eat, I say we feed them politicians. And those people who ignore obvious signs like 'Do Not Enter', 'Employees Only', and 'Be Kind, Please Rewind.' (The original FF7 had that laughably obvious typo, and I put it in there because I was going off course, of course. )
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Post by Solana on May 14, 2009 10:55:39 GMT -5
OMG! We could also add AIM-style abbreviations! Could a person sound out some of these smileys, I wonder? And if we REALLY want to get nasty, we could crack open a volume or two of Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary. Maybe Learning to Talk More Gooder Faster would Byrna path all the way to the mind thing by itself. Here are a few examples.
ac·quire (e-kwΠer´), n. a group of singers, especially those who perform during religious ceremonies. “She sings so pretty, she should join acquire.”
ar·kan·sas (ärk´-en-s≤, n. and v. a flat-bottomed boat in conjunction with an observer’ visual perception. “Noah finished the Arkansas that it was good.”
au·ra (≤´-e), conj. and adj. a phrase indicating a choice between one thing and another. “You gettin’a Quarter Pounder aura Big Mac?”
uri• nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. “If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.”
(Cane from Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.)
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Post by Ambrienne on May 14, 2009 11:36:21 GMT -5
As long as we don't manage to verbalize l33t speak. I would die before the enemy did. Or, if I survived, you'd finding me adopting the Assassin's Creed and the l33t speaker would be my first target. After that, I'd disappear without a trace, save for rumors on the wind. Needless to say, it would be an ill Windia that wouldn't blow anyone good.
I know! We can sic the girls of Persona 4 on them. The Zeirites will never survive helpings of Mystery Food X. Enough of that bad stuff and maybe the Hive mind will decide that eating us will give them food poisoning, and they'll look for a less hazardous food source.
(game title, town of the winged ones the Breath of Fire series, and the third is explained above)
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Post by Solana on May 14, 2009 15:20:52 GMT -5
I must have Mistal the lectures on that, because I'm not quite sure what it is, so don't worry. Besides, we can't have you disappear- the cooking in the middle of a battle technique requires two expert chefs to work properly, we also need as many pun warriors as possible, and we need you to coordinate the rest of sweet, sweet revenge on The Blue Star. ;D As for the girls of Persona 4, yeah, the more the merrier. We might be able to trade techniques and recipes and each leave all the Wizer. Maybe Kaoru would have some good ideas on that one, too. Although, I would have thought that all the pointy sharp things in our hands or nasty bits of magic would Mikhal of them decide that other prey might be less dangerous. (Character from Dragon Force, one of Aeris' staffs in FFVII, another character in Dragon Force.)
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Post by Ambrienne on May 14, 2009 22:54:55 GMT -5
You don't know of l33t? Congratulations, your purity is untainted, and there is hope for the world! ...Or something like that. It's this thing people started doing on the Internet; they replaced some letters with certain numbers because they thought it was cool, clever, or some other asinine reason like that. It bugs me almost as people who purposely don't capitalize the beginning of sentences, names, and other significant words or who write stream-of-thought fiction. I'm not asking for complete perfection, but... gee, you've got to have some standards, or the Chaos Wars will Teiris apart. But see, the Zeirites are like cannibals, so those sharp weapons and powers aren't a deterrant. They think eating their strong enemies will allow them to somehow gain control of their powers and... Oh, wait. They do get that when they eat us. See, our only chance for survival is to label ourselves as empty calories with no nutritional value whatsoever. Aka, we need to become the Junk Food and Drink of the universe. I don't want to be corn chips (they smell bad), so what would be a good one? ...That requires more thought. Which may mean I'm showing my Brain Age. (That crossover game that at least one other person here besides me hates, another Dragon Force character, DS game/mental alertness test)
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Post by Solana on May 15, 2009 8:47:06 GMT -5
I try. It can be fun to be a little naughty and not capitalize everything on AIM, but when it comes to stories- no. I've tried reading a few stories on fanfiction.net where there were no paragraphs and it just couldn't be done. Sorry to them, but practice makes perfect. Ahhh, so we have to convince the Zeirites that we're Rudy nasty and that we don't offer Jack when it comes to nutrition. Well, that'd be a good place to utilize all the sugar that can't be eaten. We could borrow the pudding bazooka for that, (using either Zero's special or the power suppressant candy-laced type) and maybe make sugary coverings for armor or weapons. Let's see how many people they can eat with a horrendous set of cavities in their mouth, not to mention making all the pointy things hurt like the blazes going down then. > Perhaps we could also enlist the help of the God of Candy for his expertise. (Two of the protagonists in Wild Arms.)
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Post by Ambrienne on May 15, 2009 17:10:48 GMT -5
Saying that stuff about pointy things reminds me of why I hardly ever eat a sandwich made with toasted sourdough bread. Talk about painful sharp edges. Well, we can just go over to Al-Revis and pick up a suite (also sweet, of course) of Chocolate Robes to protect our spell casters. There was edible armor, too, but I think it was just bread. They did have hats made of berries and stuff, though. I don't know if anybody would want to eat it afterwards. Not even if it was all wrapped in foil first. (Mana Khemia armor)
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