Post by DarkKnight on Oct 15, 2013 21:19:26 GMT -5
I know I've ranted on here before about my students' god-awful papers that I have to grade every semester, and I swear they keep getting worse. Not too long ago, this inspired the following.
THE LEGEND OF THE GHOST WRITERS
(To the tune of "Ghost Riders in the Sky" by Stan Jones, although for singing along with, I recommend the Spiderbait cover.)
A student was a'writing up
His homework one fine day
He did a really half-assed job
So he could go and play
When all at once, a red-pen wielding
Phantom horde he saw
They snatched his essay from his hands
And sniffed out every flaw
Their hands were stained with crimson ink
Their faces dark with rage
They gnashed their teeth and hollered
As they read through every page
A bolt of fear went through him
As he saw his free time die
He saw the writers working hard
And he heard their angry cry
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers make you cry
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers maaaake you cryyyyyyyyy
They marked up every spelling goof
And every comma splice
They ravaged every paragraph
He had not made concise
His misplaced modifiers
And his tense shifts made them howl
And his sentence structure
It was nothing less than foul.
Their work was finally ended
And he heard one call his name
"If you want to save your grades from Hell
And scholarly declaim
Then, dumbass, change your ways today
And learn to friggin' write.
Or share our curse and ride with us
Fixing papers every night."
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers make you cry
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers maaaake you cryyyyyyyyy
::Awesome guitar/harmonica solo::
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers make you cry
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers maaaake you cryyyyyyyyy
THE LEGEND OF THE GHOST WRITERS
(To the tune of "Ghost Riders in the Sky" by Stan Jones, although for singing along with, I recommend the Spiderbait cover.)
A student was a'writing up
His homework one fine day
He did a really half-assed job
So he could go and play
When all at once, a red-pen wielding
Phantom horde he saw
They snatched his essay from his hands
And sniffed out every flaw
Their hands were stained with crimson ink
Their faces dark with rage
They gnashed their teeth and hollered
As they read through every page
A bolt of fear went through him
As he saw his free time die
He saw the writers working hard
And he heard their angry cry
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers make you cry
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers maaaake you cryyyyyyyyy
They marked up every spelling goof
And every comma splice
They ravaged every paragraph
He had not made concise
His misplaced modifiers
And his tense shifts made them howl
And his sentence structure
It was nothing less than foul.
Their work was finally ended
And he heard one call his name
"If you want to save your grades from Hell
And scholarly declaim
Then, dumbass, change your ways today
And learn to friggin' write.
Or share our curse and ride with us
Fixing papers every night."
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers make you cry
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers maaaake you cryyyyyyyyy
::Awesome guitar/harmonica solo::
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers make you cry
Yippee oy vey
Yippee oh nooooo
Ghost writers maaaake you cryyyyyyyyy