Post by skylark on May 16, 2009 18:15:00 GMT -5
We open to Lark bringing his refilled coffee cup over to the table where Zero, Kiyone, and Solana are sitting in Zero and Kiyone's room at the shrine. The T.V. is on in the background.
Since I was currently homeless, Zero and Kiyone were letting me crash here as long as I needed.
Kiyone: Lark, you have to get out. This place is tiny! And I'm sick of seeing your man-panties hangin' all over the bathroom.
Lark: They're called boxers, Kiyone.
Kiyone: They're satin, Lark?
Lark: With a breathable cotton crotch panel!
King me!
Solana: Ugh, I need to find someone to split the rent at my place.
Zero: I thought you were getting good money at your new fellowship?
We flashback to a country free clinic.
We pan across the small waiting room where a couple of rough looking men are waiting, and a couple others are trying to kill each other, to a small exam room where Solana is talking to a patient.
Solana: So first, my fellowship gets canceled because some jackass cures the disease, and now the only job I can get is working at this crappy free clinic for eight bucks an hour. No one's life could be worse than mine!
The man, a double amputee, patiently listens.
Back to the present...
Solana: Uh...the...fellowship's great! Heh! 'Oh God, Kiyone, please don't tell them I'm working at a free clinic!'
Kiyone: 'I sense she doesn't want me to tell them.' [Winks at Solana.] 'Women have an unspoken connection men can't even fathom!'
Lark: [Staring at the T.V.] 'Dude, I know you can't look because Kiyone's here, but you're missing a crazy Victoria's Secrets commercial.'
Zero: [Holding his spoon up] 'I'm watching Giselle in my spoon right now!'
After a few seconds, feeling Kiyone's stare, he drops his spoon.
Zero: You know...you--you two could solve both of your problems if you just moved in together.
Lark: Whooooooa. Hold your horses!
&
Solana: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, and whoa-ho!
Solana: We have very complicated issues.
Lark: Yeah, I hurt her, and I'm not proud.
I'm a little proud.
Solana: We've managed to restore our friendship, though, by staying away from dangerous topics.
Lark: Yeah, relationships, and things of that nature.
Solana: Lark and I keep it superficial.
Lark: Love the superficial. [To Solana] Dynamite teeth today!
Solana: Oh, thanks, buddy!
Lark: Sparkly!
Solana: Yeah!
------------
Later, we find ourselves at the Sacred Shrine admissions desk. Kiyone, Lark, and Zero come in, continuing the subject from earlier.
Kiyone: Fine, you can't live with Solana! But you're not living with us, so get your crap out by Thursday.
Lark: Thursday?
Kiyone: Thursday.
Lark: Thursday's my birthday! I've already e-vited everyone to a party at our place.
Kiyone: Whose place?
Lark: Your place. Look, I can't just un-e-vite everyone -- I've already got two e-yeses and twenty-four e-maybes. That's a lot of e-sponses.
Kiyone: Bambi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass.
Lark: It's a Mexican-themed fiesta...on the first anniversary of my 24th birthday. [Hisses] That means I'm turning twenty-five!
Kiyone rolls her eyes.
Lark: [Quoting his e-vitations] ¿Donde? 56 Walnut Drive. ¿Cuando? Thank you for asking -- ocho-twenty-five until upside-down question mark. Sombreros at the door. [Does a tongue-rolling whoop.]
Zero: I'll be there.
Lark: Gracias, amigo. [Whispering to Kiyone] I borrowed one of your foreign language dictionaries!
Across the area, Ronfar comes out, deep in conversation with another doctor.
Since there were twelve surgical residents at Sacred Heart fighting for four attending spots, Zero was ass-kissing the senior staff.
Ronfar: Oh, damn, I left my briefcase upstairs.
Zero: [Ducking out] 'Scuse me a second!
Zero thought he was the only one who heard that.
-----------
We find ourselves at the wheelchair ramp outside. Zero rushes out, clutching the prized briefcase.
Zero: DR. RONFAR! DR. RONFAR! I'VE GOT YOUR BR--
Carl Hirolas' "Kung Fu Fighting" begins, and a mass of masked, green-scrubs-clad doctors swarm around Zero, striking martial arts poses.
...He was not.
Kyle comes out the door behind Zero.
Zero: I had no idea that there was that many Asian surgeons in this hospital.
Kyle: I got your back, Z-Dog.
Zero: Then let it begin.
He flings the briefcase in the air and rips off his scrub top, assuming a defensive stance as the ninja docs make another move. With an intimidating yowl, he jumps into the fray in the parking lot below, as Kyle takes on the gang on the ramp.
An elaborate action sequence plays out to the tune of the song, with Zero and Kyle handily kicking Asian surgeon butt.
Zero: Quit fooling around with those guys and get down here!
Kyle: [Jumps onto the handrail] Here comes the big dog!
He leaps down into the parking lot, back to back with Zero, and together they clean up the rest of their opponents. The battle ends just as the briefcase falls back down, right into Zero's waiting arms.
The song fades.
Zero: Dude --
Kyle: Yeah.
Zero: -- thanks for having my back.
He holds up his hand for a high five.
Kyle: [Raises his hand] Yeah. Betrayal five.
Zero: What?
Kyle whacks Zero in the chest, causing him to shriek in pain and fall to the ground, releasing the briefcase into Kyle's hands.
Back to reality...
Clutching Ronfar's briefcase, Zero, followed by Lark and Kyle, exits the building.
Kyle: [Raising his hand to Zero] Hey, buddy.
Zero: [Ready for the five] Hey!
Kyle: Betrayal five.
Just as before, he whacks Zero in the chest, causing him to shriek and release the case.
Kyle: [Running towards the parking lot] DR. RONFAR!
He meets the man at his car.
Ronfar: Oh, my briefcase!
Kyle: Yeah!
Lark: [To the floored Zero] You know, I totally saw that coming.
---------
Opening Theme
----------
Lark and Zero walk back towards the hospital entrance (perhaps after doing something horrible to Kyle's ride?).
Zero: Dude, look at you! Twenty-five years old -- all growed up!
Lark: Oh, really, Zero? Because the Sacred Shrine sign I vandalized last night begs to differ!
He gestures to the large sign, its "Shrine" painted over so it now reads SACRED FART HOSPITAL
They laugh like fiends and continue towards the entrance, but their laughing is immediately silenced by the stern look on Techno's face as they pass.
-----------
We now see Lark and Zero in the first floor hallway.
Lark: Hey! Remember when we were in college and we made lists of all the stuff we wanted to do by the time we turned twenty-five?
Zero: Yeah!
Lark: [Unfolds a piece of paper] Check it!
Zero: [Reading it] "Things to do by twenty-five: Get married. Buy a house. Learn difference between senator and congressman." Dude, you haven't done any of these yet. [Hands the list back.]
Lark: I know! But who cares? I got all the time in the world. I mean, I'm only turning twenty-five.
They enter the admissions room.
A bunch of children are playing all over the front desk.
Kid #2: Twenty-five?
Kid #3: No one's twenty-five.
Lark: Where did all these unsupervised children come from?
-------
Later, in a patient's room, Zero is meeting with his patient, a young brunette.
Zero: So you wanted to talk to me about your appendectomy, Mrs...[reads the chart]...Appendectomy? Now that ain't right!
Maybe it's not...still...
Mrs. Appendectomy: Look, fifteen percent of all surgical complications are anesthesia-related, so I would like to use hypnosis instead of the traditional anesthesia.
Zero: Well, I'd like to sleep with Althena instead of my wife tonight, but that ain't happening either, you know what I'm saying!? [She gives him a look.] Tell you what, I'll think about it.
Later, in the I.C.U....
Zero talks to Roas. Kiyone is nearby.
Zero: My appendectomy patient wants me to use hypnosis instead of anesthesia.
Roas: Lookit, I'd like to throw it in Alkaid tonight instead of Ninya, but that ain't gonna happen either.
Kiyone: Dr. Atradas!
Zero: Dr. Atradas! No! Awful!
Kiyone: Hypnosis is a very powerful tool. It's helped people with depression and weight loss -- it helped me quit smoking.
Zero: You smoked?
Kiyone: You try working with Mihoshi for years.
Roas: Hypnosis is for birthday parties and bad Vegas lounges. Now, you go tell your patient to let you do what you do best: Knock her out, and then start digging around inside of her like a blind man looking for a nickel.
Kiyone: I think you should do it.
Roas: Knock her out and dig.
Kiyone: Do it.
Roas: Dig.
Kiyone: Do it.
Roas: Dig.
Kiyone: Do it.
Roas: Dig.
Zero: Okay.... I'm gonna go with Dr. Atradas on this one.
Dr. Atradas: That's a rookie move, and you hate to see it. You always side with the wife -- even if she's got a full-blown case of the crazies.
He leaves, humming a "crazy" note.
Kiyone: Zero! We're gonna have kids soon. We're supposed to be a team! That means you occasionally have to listen to me and believe in my opinion! Like, what if we have a daughter and she wants to get her ears pierced?
Zero: Irrelevant. We're not having a daughter.
Kiyone: Okay. What if we have a son and he wants to take dance class, even though all his friends are playing football?
Zero: He can dance if he wants to.... He can leave his friends behind.... "'Cause his friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine!" [Dancing away] "S-s-s-s...A-a-a-a...F-f-f-f...E-e-e-e...."
----------
Later, Kiyone and Solana are seen at the bar.
Kiyone: So then I said, "What if our son wants to take dance class instead of play football with his friends?" and Zero ran off singing "Safety Dance."
Solana: Kiyone, didn't you learn your lesson that time you told him the commissar was in town?
Kiyone: Yeah....
Noticing a vacant table, Solana hops up.
Solana: Ooh! Someone's leaving!
Kiyone quickly follows after and the girls grab the two chairs on one side just as Roas and Ninya grab the two on the other side.
Roas groans.
Kiyone
&: We saw it first!
Solana
Roas: Ninya, here's the plan: I'm gonna go ahead and cram an entire evening's worth of drinking into the next five minutes. Now, you just make sure not to engage them. Be particularly aware of the multi-colored talky one -- I've worked with her before -- she has no off button.
Kiyone: [To Solana] If money is so tight, why not have Leo move in with you?
Ninya: [Gasps] Who's Leo?
Roas: [Whacks table] Ninya! ...No!
Solana: He's this guy that I'm friends with, who I am NOT dating, by the way. *shoots Kiyone a look* He's a bit closed-off, but he's alright.
Kiyone: Bet he doesn't think so... >_>
Ninya: [Pointing at Roas behind her hand] Uh, sweetie, are you aware of who I live with?
Roas: Ninya Godzilla Beatura! You stop that, and you stop it now!
Ninya: Why don't you try talking to humans for once? You might enjoy it!
Kiyone: Solana, maybe you should be the one to open Leo up? You know like Zero can be a little...immature -- you know, like I always have to talk about my feelings over dinner or shut off his iPod during sex. I bet you could do the same thing with Leo.
Solana: *getting angry* I'm not dating him... It's platonic...
Roas: Or...maybe you could pressure him, get dumped, throw on fifty pounds, start collecting knick-knacks and meet your future now. You know...before the loneliness burns too much? [Hopping in his seat] Wooooo-ohhhhh! [Laughing] Gosh, I did enjoy that!
Solana: *shrieking* I'm not dating him!!! Do the words 'Safety Zone' mean nothing to you people?!!!!
Everyone in the bar shoots her a look. Solana shrinks down and guzzles her beer.
---------
The next day, Lark and Zero walk though the fourth floor hall at the hospital.
Zero: [Examining Lark's list] Dude, you haven't done anything on this list! How could you never've slept naked on a hammock?
Lark: I'm afraid of dragonflies. [Grabs his list] You know what, I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this. Neither one of us has made any headway with our lists.
Zero: First of all, don't lump me in with you -- 'cause I'm a surgeon, I'm married, I've had sex while playing Frogger, and I'm gonna be a dad -- I'm moving through my list.
Lark: I've done nothing. I mean, I did learn another language, but it was just that one where you put a "b" sound in the middle of every single word -- and I was never fluent.
Zero: That secret language was so lame.
Nobot with the labadabies!
Zero chuckles as Lark continues on.
Zero turns to the nurses station.
Azreal is going over a chart.
Zero: Dr. Serano! Do you have any idea who's gonna get those three attending spots next year?
Azreal: There are four spots for next year.
Zero: Three if you're not counting the one going to me!
Azreal: I'm gonna stick with four, Zeroton. See, there are numerous skilled surgeons here at Sacred Fart --[laughs] did you see the sign? [He continues chuckling, and Zero humors him by joining in.] Though there will be no vandalism here, people! [Snickers] It was classic! Anyway, the key is doing something to get noticed.
Zero: I don't know if you know this, but tomorrow I'm doing an appendectomy using hypnosis instead of anesthesia.
Azreal: Well, it's about time. Nine Hell's Bells, son, when I say the name Zeroton, people laugh!
Zero: Maybe because that's not my name.
Azreal: [Leaving] Not yet, Zeroton! Not yet.
-----------
That evening, in Solana's room at the shrine, Solana and Leo are on the couch, talking.
Leo: Solana, I don't think I understand what you want.
Solana: I just want you to open up, you know, emotionally...spiritually....
Leo: Uh, I'm not exactly religious anymore, you know, since the whole Zophar rules Althena's Chosen thing, but I still think that Althena watches after my family and...well, my favorite sports teams. Oh, and once in tenth grade, She made roast pig fall from the sky.
Solana gives him a look.
Leo: It was a failed fast, and I was starving. *cough*
Solana: *weirded out* Okay! How about opening up with something else? What's your dream?
Leo: Yeah...it's not happening.
Solana: Come on!
Leo: All right, fine, why don't you tell me your biggest dream.
Solana: Okay, fine. One day, I'm eventually gonna win the lottery. Once that's done, I'll start with buying Seaworld. Then, one by one, I'll buy every major and minor aquarium in the world. Once that's done, I can finally raise an army of aquatic allies to help me beat the snot out of everyone that comes on to me or tries to date me. *In arabic accent* "Marry me! Marry me!" *normal* Eat dolphin tail, you perverted freak!! Haha ha ha ha ha ha....! Oh, Goddess. I can be so power-mad sometimes...
Leo: ...'Kay...
===
That same evening in the I.C.U. ward, Lark approaches the bed of a patient with a toe tag.
Lark: When did we lose Mr. Heath?
Kiyone: [Behind the Nurses' Station] Oh, we didn't. His vitals are fine.
Lark: Hiro, I told you to stop pre-tagging patients.
Hiro: [Lying on the next bed] It's a slow day in the morgue. Nothing's written in stone!
Lark: You wrote a time of death!
Hiro: [Plucking the tag off] I wrote "one-ish"!
Lark: Get outta here!
Kiyone: Why are you so pissy?
Lark goes over to the desk.
Lark: [Handing his list to her] Kiyone, at 6:41 tomorrow evening, I turn twenty-five. I have to find one thing on this list I can do by then.
Roas: [Arrives] Maybe you could swing by our parts department and pick up a pair of testes?
Lark: Haven't you used that joke like a trillion times?
Roas: I'm okay with it.
Kiyone: [Reading Lark's list] "Invent a cereal"? "Complete a triathlon"?
Roas: There's a, uh, triathlon tomorrow. Thing One and Thing Two have been training vigorously for it.
Darrell and Hiro walk past in synchronized step.
Hiro: We're working on our drafting technique!
Roas: If your goal is to repel all women on the planet, then it's definitely working.
Darrell: Ignoring him.... And switch!
Hiro takes the lead position, and they continue down the hall.
Lark: That's it! I'll do the triathlon!
Kiyone: Oh, you don't know anything about triathlons!
Lark: Well, I didn't know anything about cereal inventing, either, Kiyone. And yet if it wasn't for a certain harshly-worded cease and desist letter, we'd all be eating Lark's Bananas & Nuts.
Kiyone: You're not serious about this, are you?
--------
The next day at the beach, a substantial number of triathletes, Darrell, Hiro, and Lark among them, prepare for the first part of the course.
Lark: [In just trunks] Why is everybody wearing wetsuits?
Hiro: This water's like forty-nine degrees, dumb-dumb!
Darrell: So what's your best time, buster?
Lark: Honestly, Darrell, it doesn't really matter. As long as I finish by 6:41 tonight.
The harder you push yourself to do something, the harder it is to back out.
Meanwhile, at the hospital nurses station, Zero is at the desk as Kiyone approaches.
Whether you're caught in a lie with your wife...
Kiyone: I heard you were doing the hypnosis surgery. You actually listened to me!
She grabs him in a hug and kisses him.
Zero: [Covering] Hell yeah, I listened to you...baby, come on! That's the reason why I'm doing it, right? 'Cause of you and how well I listen.
Kiyone: I love you.
Zero: I love you.
----------
Meanwhile, in the hall outside Solana's room in the shrine, Solana pulls Leo to her room.
Or whether you're just trying to get your friend to open up.
Solana: Come on, Leo. You said you wanted to ask me something, so ask. I won't judge you.
They go in and close the door. The camera pans over to the clock on the table which reads 7:59. The instant the minute hand clicks over to 8:00, the room door flies open again and a stunned Solana comes out.
Solana: Oh my Goddess, Leo! Does nobody know the meaning of 'Comfort Zone' anymore?! I don't want a boyfriend!!
Leo: [At the door] You wanna talk about it, Solana?
Solana: No!!
------------
Meanwhile, back at the beach, the start gun is raised.
And sometimes, the only thing you can do is just dive in.
At the shot, all the wetsuit-clad triathletes dive in the water, with the near-naked Lark tip-toeing carefully towards the surf.
Lark: Oh, Jenova, that's cold! Oh, Goddess, why! [Splashing some water on himself] There's a little...here's some more. [Skipping deeper in] All right, ease it in...ease it in!
Since I was currently homeless, Zero and Kiyone were letting me crash here as long as I needed.
Kiyone: Lark, you have to get out. This place is tiny! And I'm sick of seeing your man-panties hangin' all over the bathroom.
Lark: They're called boxers, Kiyone.
Kiyone: They're satin, Lark?
Lark: With a breathable cotton crotch panel!
King me!
Solana: Ugh, I need to find someone to split the rent at my place.
Zero: I thought you were getting good money at your new fellowship?
We flashback to a country free clinic.
We pan across the small waiting room where a couple of rough looking men are waiting, and a couple others are trying to kill each other, to a small exam room where Solana is talking to a patient.
Solana: So first, my fellowship gets canceled because some jackass cures the disease, and now the only job I can get is working at this crappy free clinic for eight bucks an hour. No one's life could be worse than mine!
The man, a double amputee, patiently listens.
Back to the present...
Solana: Uh...the...fellowship's great! Heh! 'Oh God, Kiyone, please don't tell them I'm working at a free clinic!'
Kiyone: 'I sense she doesn't want me to tell them.' [Winks at Solana.] 'Women have an unspoken connection men can't even fathom!'
Lark: [Staring at the T.V.] 'Dude, I know you can't look because Kiyone's here, but you're missing a crazy Victoria's Secrets commercial.'
Zero: [Holding his spoon up] 'I'm watching Giselle in my spoon right now!'
After a few seconds, feeling Kiyone's stare, he drops his spoon.
Zero: You know...you--you two could solve both of your problems if you just moved in together.
Lark: Whooooooa. Hold your horses!
&
Solana: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, and whoa-ho!
Solana: We have very complicated issues.
Lark: Yeah, I hurt her, and I'm not proud.
I'm a little proud.
Solana: We've managed to restore our friendship, though, by staying away from dangerous topics.
Lark: Yeah, relationships, and things of that nature.
Solana: Lark and I keep it superficial.
Lark: Love the superficial. [To Solana] Dynamite teeth today!
Solana: Oh, thanks, buddy!
Lark: Sparkly!
Solana: Yeah!
------------
Later, we find ourselves at the Sacred Shrine admissions desk. Kiyone, Lark, and Zero come in, continuing the subject from earlier.
Kiyone: Fine, you can't live with Solana! But you're not living with us, so get your crap out by Thursday.
Lark: Thursday?
Kiyone: Thursday.
Lark: Thursday's my birthday! I've already e-vited everyone to a party at our place.
Kiyone: Whose place?
Lark: Your place. Look, I can't just un-e-vite everyone -- I've already got two e-yeses and twenty-four e-maybes. That's a lot of e-sponses.
Kiyone: Bambi, I'm gonna put my e-foot up your ass.
Lark: It's a Mexican-themed fiesta...on the first anniversary of my 24th birthday. [Hisses] That means I'm turning twenty-five!
Kiyone rolls her eyes.
Lark: [Quoting his e-vitations] ¿Donde? 56 Walnut Drive. ¿Cuando? Thank you for asking -- ocho-twenty-five until upside-down question mark. Sombreros at the door. [Does a tongue-rolling whoop.]
Zero: I'll be there.
Lark: Gracias, amigo. [Whispering to Kiyone] I borrowed one of your foreign language dictionaries!
Across the area, Ronfar comes out, deep in conversation with another doctor.
Since there were twelve surgical residents at Sacred Heart fighting for four attending spots, Zero was ass-kissing the senior staff.
Ronfar: Oh, damn, I left my briefcase upstairs.
Zero: [Ducking out] 'Scuse me a second!
Zero thought he was the only one who heard that.
-----------
We find ourselves at the wheelchair ramp outside. Zero rushes out, clutching the prized briefcase.
Zero: DR. RONFAR! DR. RONFAR! I'VE GOT YOUR BR--
Carl Hirolas' "Kung Fu Fighting" begins, and a mass of masked, green-scrubs-clad doctors swarm around Zero, striking martial arts poses.
...He was not.
Kyle comes out the door behind Zero.
Zero: I had no idea that there was that many Asian surgeons in this hospital.
Kyle: I got your back, Z-Dog.
Zero: Then let it begin.
He flings the briefcase in the air and rips off his scrub top, assuming a defensive stance as the ninja docs make another move. With an intimidating yowl, he jumps into the fray in the parking lot below, as Kyle takes on the gang on the ramp.
An elaborate action sequence plays out to the tune of the song, with Zero and Kyle handily kicking Asian surgeon butt.
Zero: Quit fooling around with those guys and get down here!
Kyle: [Jumps onto the handrail] Here comes the big dog!
He leaps down into the parking lot, back to back with Zero, and together they clean up the rest of their opponents. The battle ends just as the briefcase falls back down, right into Zero's waiting arms.
The song fades.
Zero: Dude --
Kyle: Yeah.
Zero: -- thanks for having my back.
He holds up his hand for a high five.
Kyle: [Raises his hand] Yeah. Betrayal five.
Zero: What?
Kyle whacks Zero in the chest, causing him to shriek in pain and fall to the ground, releasing the briefcase into Kyle's hands.
Back to reality...
Clutching Ronfar's briefcase, Zero, followed by Lark and Kyle, exits the building.
Kyle: [Raising his hand to Zero] Hey, buddy.
Zero: [Ready for the five] Hey!
Kyle: Betrayal five.
Just as before, he whacks Zero in the chest, causing him to shriek and release the case.
Kyle: [Running towards the parking lot] DR. RONFAR!
He meets the man at his car.
Ronfar: Oh, my briefcase!
Kyle: Yeah!
Lark: [To the floored Zero] You know, I totally saw that coming.
---------
Opening Theme
----------
Lark and Zero walk back towards the hospital entrance (perhaps after doing something horrible to Kyle's ride?).
Zero: Dude, look at you! Twenty-five years old -- all growed up!
Lark: Oh, really, Zero? Because the Sacred Shrine sign I vandalized last night begs to differ!
He gestures to the large sign, its "Shrine" painted over so it now reads SACRED FART HOSPITAL
They laugh like fiends and continue towards the entrance, but their laughing is immediately silenced by the stern look on Techno's face as they pass.
-----------
We now see Lark and Zero in the first floor hallway.
Lark: Hey! Remember when we were in college and we made lists of all the stuff we wanted to do by the time we turned twenty-five?
Zero: Yeah!
Lark: [Unfolds a piece of paper] Check it!
Zero: [Reading it] "Things to do by twenty-five: Get married. Buy a house. Learn difference between senator and congressman." Dude, you haven't done any of these yet. [Hands the list back.]
Lark: I know! But who cares? I got all the time in the world. I mean, I'm only turning twenty-five.
They enter the admissions room.
A bunch of children are playing all over the front desk.
Kid #2: Twenty-five?
Kid #3: No one's twenty-five.
Lark: Where did all these unsupervised children come from?
-------
Later, in a patient's room, Zero is meeting with his patient, a young brunette.
Zero: So you wanted to talk to me about your appendectomy, Mrs...[reads the chart]...Appendectomy? Now that ain't right!
Maybe it's not...still...
Mrs. Appendectomy: Look, fifteen percent of all surgical complications are anesthesia-related, so I would like to use hypnosis instead of the traditional anesthesia.
Zero: Well, I'd like to sleep with Althena instead of my wife tonight, but that ain't happening either, you know what I'm saying!? [She gives him a look.] Tell you what, I'll think about it.
Later, in the I.C.U....
Zero talks to Roas. Kiyone is nearby.
Zero: My appendectomy patient wants me to use hypnosis instead of anesthesia.
Roas: Lookit, I'd like to throw it in Alkaid tonight instead of Ninya, but that ain't gonna happen either.
Kiyone: Dr. Atradas!
Zero: Dr. Atradas! No! Awful!
Kiyone: Hypnosis is a very powerful tool. It's helped people with depression and weight loss -- it helped me quit smoking.
Zero: You smoked?
Kiyone: You try working with Mihoshi for years.
Roas: Hypnosis is for birthday parties and bad Vegas lounges. Now, you go tell your patient to let you do what you do best: Knock her out, and then start digging around inside of her like a blind man looking for a nickel.
Kiyone: I think you should do it.
Roas: Knock her out and dig.
Kiyone: Do it.
Roas: Dig.
Kiyone: Do it.
Roas: Dig.
Kiyone: Do it.
Roas: Dig.
Zero: Okay.... I'm gonna go with Dr. Atradas on this one.
Dr. Atradas: That's a rookie move, and you hate to see it. You always side with the wife -- even if she's got a full-blown case of the crazies.
He leaves, humming a "crazy" note.
Kiyone: Zero! We're gonna have kids soon. We're supposed to be a team! That means you occasionally have to listen to me and believe in my opinion! Like, what if we have a daughter and she wants to get her ears pierced?
Zero: Irrelevant. We're not having a daughter.
Kiyone: Okay. What if we have a son and he wants to take dance class, even though all his friends are playing football?
Zero: He can dance if he wants to.... He can leave his friends behind.... "'Cause his friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine!" [Dancing away] "S-s-s-s...A-a-a-a...F-f-f-f...E-e-e-e...."
----------
Later, Kiyone and Solana are seen at the bar.
Kiyone: So then I said, "What if our son wants to take dance class instead of play football with his friends?" and Zero ran off singing "Safety Dance."
Solana: Kiyone, didn't you learn your lesson that time you told him the commissar was in town?
Kiyone: Yeah....
Noticing a vacant table, Solana hops up.
Solana: Ooh! Someone's leaving!
Kiyone quickly follows after and the girls grab the two chairs on one side just as Roas and Ninya grab the two on the other side.
Roas groans.
Kiyone
&: We saw it first!
Solana
Roas: Ninya, here's the plan: I'm gonna go ahead and cram an entire evening's worth of drinking into the next five minutes. Now, you just make sure not to engage them. Be particularly aware of the multi-colored talky one -- I've worked with her before -- she has no off button.
Kiyone: [To Solana] If money is so tight, why not have Leo move in with you?
Ninya: [Gasps] Who's Leo?
Roas: [Whacks table] Ninya! ...No!
Solana: He's this guy that I'm friends with, who I am NOT dating, by the way. *shoots Kiyone a look* He's a bit closed-off, but he's alright.
Kiyone: Bet he doesn't think so... >_>
Ninya: [Pointing at Roas behind her hand] Uh, sweetie, are you aware of who I live with?
Roas: Ninya Godzilla Beatura! You stop that, and you stop it now!
Ninya: Why don't you try talking to humans for once? You might enjoy it!
Kiyone: Solana, maybe you should be the one to open Leo up? You know like Zero can be a little...immature -- you know, like I always have to talk about my feelings over dinner or shut off his iPod during sex. I bet you could do the same thing with Leo.
Solana: *getting angry* I'm not dating him... It's platonic...
Roas: Or...maybe you could pressure him, get dumped, throw on fifty pounds, start collecting knick-knacks and meet your future now. You know...before the loneliness burns too much? [Hopping in his seat] Wooooo-ohhhhh! [Laughing] Gosh, I did enjoy that!
Solana: *shrieking* I'm not dating him!!! Do the words 'Safety Zone' mean nothing to you people?!!!!
Everyone in the bar shoots her a look. Solana shrinks down and guzzles her beer.
---------
The next day, Lark and Zero walk though the fourth floor hall at the hospital.
Zero: [Examining Lark's list] Dude, you haven't done anything on this list! How could you never've slept naked on a hammock?
Lark: I'm afraid of dragonflies. [Grabs his list] You know what, I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this. Neither one of us has made any headway with our lists.
Zero: First of all, don't lump me in with you -- 'cause I'm a surgeon, I'm married, I've had sex while playing Frogger, and I'm gonna be a dad -- I'm moving through my list.
Lark: I've done nothing. I mean, I did learn another language, but it was just that one where you put a "b" sound in the middle of every single word -- and I was never fluent.
Zero: That secret language was so lame.
Nobot with the labadabies!
Zero chuckles as Lark continues on.
Zero turns to the nurses station.
Azreal is going over a chart.
Zero: Dr. Serano! Do you have any idea who's gonna get those three attending spots next year?
Azreal: There are four spots for next year.
Zero: Three if you're not counting the one going to me!
Azreal: I'm gonna stick with four, Zeroton. See, there are numerous skilled surgeons here at Sacred Fart --[laughs] did you see the sign? [He continues chuckling, and Zero humors him by joining in.] Though there will be no vandalism here, people! [Snickers] It was classic! Anyway, the key is doing something to get noticed.
Zero: I don't know if you know this, but tomorrow I'm doing an appendectomy using hypnosis instead of anesthesia.
Azreal: Well, it's about time. Nine Hell's Bells, son, when I say the name Zeroton, people laugh!
Zero: Maybe because that's not my name.
Azreal: [Leaving] Not yet, Zeroton! Not yet.
-----------
That evening, in Solana's room at the shrine, Solana and Leo are on the couch, talking.
Leo: Solana, I don't think I understand what you want.
Solana: I just want you to open up, you know, emotionally...spiritually....
Leo: Uh, I'm not exactly religious anymore, you know, since the whole Zophar rules Althena's Chosen thing, but I still think that Althena watches after my family and...well, my favorite sports teams. Oh, and once in tenth grade, She made roast pig fall from the sky.
Solana gives him a look.
Leo: It was a failed fast, and I was starving. *cough*
Solana: *weirded out* Okay! How about opening up with something else? What's your dream?
Leo: Yeah...it's not happening.
Solana: Come on!
Leo: All right, fine, why don't you tell me your biggest dream.
Solana: Okay, fine. One day, I'm eventually gonna win the lottery. Once that's done, I'll start with buying Seaworld. Then, one by one, I'll buy every major and minor aquarium in the world. Once that's done, I can finally raise an army of aquatic allies to help me beat the snot out of everyone that comes on to me or tries to date me. *In arabic accent* "Marry me! Marry me!" *normal* Eat dolphin tail, you perverted freak!! Haha ha ha ha ha ha....! Oh, Goddess. I can be so power-mad sometimes...
Leo: ...'Kay...
===
That same evening in the I.C.U. ward, Lark approaches the bed of a patient with a toe tag.
Lark: When did we lose Mr. Heath?
Kiyone: [Behind the Nurses' Station] Oh, we didn't. His vitals are fine.
Lark: Hiro, I told you to stop pre-tagging patients.
Hiro: [Lying on the next bed] It's a slow day in the morgue. Nothing's written in stone!
Lark: You wrote a time of death!
Hiro: [Plucking the tag off] I wrote "one-ish"!
Lark: Get outta here!
Kiyone: Why are you so pissy?
Lark goes over to the desk.
Lark: [Handing his list to her] Kiyone, at 6:41 tomorrow evening, I turn twenty-five. I have to find one thing on this list I can do by then.
Roas: [Arrives] Maybe you could swing by our parts department and pick up a pair of testes?
Lark: Haven't you used that joke like a trillion times?
Roas: I'm okay with it.
Kiyone: [Reading Lark's list] "Invent a cereal"? "Complete a triathlon"?
Roas: There's a, uh, triathlon tomorrow. Thing One and Thing Two have been training vigorously for it.
Darrell and Hiro walk past in synchronized step.
Hiro: We're working on our drafting technique!
Roas: If your goal is to repel all women on the planet, then it's definitely working.
Darrell: Ignoring him.... And switch!
Hiro takes the lead position, and they continue down the hall.
Lark: That's it! I'll do the triathlon!
Kiyone: Oh, you don't know anything about triathlons!
Lark: Well, I didn't know anything about cereal inventing, either, Kiyone. And yet if it wasn't for a certain harshly-worded cease and desist letter, we'd all be eating Lark's Bananas & Nuts.
Kiyone: You're not serious about this, are you?
--------
The next day at the beach, a substantial number of triathletes, Darrell, Hiro, and Lark among them, prepare for the first part of the course.
Lark: [In just trunks] Why is everybody wearing wetsuits?
Hiro: This water's like forty-nine degrees, dumb-dumb!
Darrell: So what's your best time, buster?
Lark: Honestly, Darrell, it doesn't really matter. As long as I finish by 6:41 tonight.
The harder you push yourself to do something, the harder it is to back out.
Meanwhile, at the hospital nurses station, Zero is at the desk as Kiyone approaches.
Whether you're caught in a lie with your wife...
Kiyone: I heard you were doing the hypnosis surgery. You actually listened to me!
She grabs him in a hug and kisses him.
Zero: [Covering] Hell yeah, I listened to you...baby, come on! That's the reason why I'm doing it, right? 'Cause of you and how well I listen.
Kiyone: I love you.
Zero: I love you.
----------
Meanwhile, in the hall outside Solana's room in the shrine, Solana pulls Leo to her room.
Or whether you're just trying to get your friend to open up.
Solana: Come on, Leo. You said you wanted to ask me something, so ask. I won't judge you.
They go in and close the door. The camera pans over to the clock on the table which reads 7:59. The instant the minute hand clicks over to 8:00, the room door flies open again and a stunned Solana comes out.
Solana: Oh my Goddess, Leo! Does nobody know the meaning of 'Comfort Zone' anymore?! I don't want a boyfriend!!
Leo: [At the door] You wanna talk about it, Solana?
Solana: No!!
------------
Meanwhile, back at the beach, the start gun is raised.
And sometimes, the only thing you can do is just dive in.
At the shot, all the wetsuit-clad triathletes dive in the water, with the near-naked Lark tip-toeing carefully towards the surf.
Lark: Oh, Jenova, that's cold! Oh, Goddess, why! [Splashing some water on himself] There's a little...here's some more. [Skipping deeper in] All right, ease it in...ease it in!
