Post by northlander on Mar 28, 2014 15:33:24 GMT -5
Chapter 29: Fly me to Your Doom.
"Well... yes, that is how it works... technically."
"We were going to come get you anyway, though. Getting impatient?"
"No, I came to rub it in your faces."
"....."
"Um... I mean..."
"Well, it's a good thing we're all girded up, then."
"D'oh!"
"You talk too much! Get on with it already."
"Shut up! I was going to."
"Yes, that's all you ever do. Which is to say, you're going to do, but you just go on and on about.. uh, going on... and you never really get anywhere, do you? Even Gades was more proactive than you."
"And that other dude, whatever his name was."
"SHUT UP!"
"Ouch! That... did indeed kind of hurt."
"Why... why is Maxim the only one standing?"
"I can't feel my ears."
"La la la, standing off on the side all safe and stuff."
"Something's pulling at my pants."
"Urgh! What the... hell are the two... doing?!"
"Hey! Whatever it is that you three are imagining, it's not that!"
"His sword is quite happy to see you, it seems."
"SAY NO MORE!"
"Guys, really..."
"This is getting hotter and hotter by the second."
"Eeesh!"
"Well, we're already level 99, so there's not much more to be gained by weaponry. That Dual Sword probably didn't raise my powers that much anyway, stupid token thing."
"Why u mad?"
"Oh, nothing. I just had to endure all this stupid innuendo because of that guy."
"I'm not going to stand here and take all this."
"Oh yeah? What'cha gonna do about it?"
"Sheesh, he's really pathetic as a bully, isn't he?"
"Well... his attack did kind of hurt. I think we might be up for a fight against that guy."
"Eh, whatever. Let's go."
"But before that; you were saying, clone lady?"
"I am NOT a clone. Anyway..."
"Oh, so you're like a super sentai team where all three are the same color. I got it."
"What?! Nooooo!"
"Is this some sort of Aquarion combination? Because if that's the case...."
"Aarrgh! Why are you doing this?! I need to concentrate, so kindly shut the hell up!"
"Wow, yeesh, you three are crazy powerful. Why the hell do you need OUR help?"
"Because reasons. And we're not the main characters, because that counts for a lot, regardless of how much of a huge weenie they are at first."
"Well, at least we came with combat experience included... except we kind of had to fight and level anyway."
"These places aren't big on logic, are they?"
"That's... bad. So, what can we do?"
"That's good, but... didn't you just say we couldn't attack?"
"Yes, but we could still ATTACK attack. You know, attack."
"No, I don't. You just said we could neither move nor attack, but then you said you attacked anyway. That is the very textbook definition of not making any sense."
"But if I didn't attack, they'd still be able to reach us. So what's the problem? You didn't WANT me to attack?"
"I just... never mind. I don't want to think about this any more."
"Even... even though we can't attack. Or move."
"....yes."
"Hooray."
"I thought you stopped it from moving AND attacking."
"I never said we stopped it from attacking."
"Oh. Well... I guess that explains how they could still fire laser beams at... uh, our ship?"
"Uh oh!"
"Let's go to our ship, then."
"Yes, let's hurry to our ship."
"Our ship might be in trouble."
"That won't do at all. Our ship is very important to us. We'd hate to lose our ship."
"Har har. Just go already."
"But... we already defeated two sinistrals WITHOUT the Dual Blade."
"Yes, well... that was probably.... a... uh, lucky strike. Yes, beginner's luck. That's it."
"Yyyyeah, or maybe we just kick that much ass."
"Well... then it's not 'pretty bad', is it?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"I hope you're not going to do anything stupid, like ask me to stay behind or something. I know you're better than that, Maxim."
*cough* "Well...."
"And I married you because I respected you. And you respected me more than just for being a woman who reached a position usually held by men. Am I wrong?"
"No, you aren't. I guess I'm just worried that none of us will be getting out of this, and selfish as I am, I did at least want to save you for our son's sake."
"Well... I guess I can understand that, but..."
"Wife... hugging... tightly... ability to... form coherent thoughts... decreasing fast."
"If only we had time for me to turn your brain into mush. Oh well, we'll put that on hold for now."
"And it was getting all hot and steamy too."
"What is it with you people and lack of privacy?"
"I was hoping to learn something. I'm like the Nudge Nudge man of this world."
"Yeah, I guess I can see that."
"Well, of couHEY! You poking fun of me?"
"Nah."
"Oh, look who's being all braggety now."
"I am not."
"Oh, yes you are."
"And no jinxing now, K?"
"Perish the thought."
"......"
"......"
"We're doomed, aren't we?"
"Yeah, probably."
"Eh, it's fine. We're going up there to kick some ass anyway."
"Just hold out the laser storm some more, and we'll be good to go."
"Oh, for the love of...."
"Let's go up there and see."
"All I wonder now is... what's been keeping them from entering the city before this?"
"That's... uh, some pretty huge squid. They even outsize the hydr... uh, I mean Hidora... and the dragons."
"Giant squid? Get out of here."
"Well, we're going to have to do some cleanup before we can leave."
"Hey! Don't just ignore me, damnit!"
"Well, look who's back."
"It's Mr. Beans."
"Assblastin' his way into action like usual."
"If only Idura was here. Then he could watch me kick ass and cry some more."
"Yep. Cry into his fabulous pink armor."
"Well, I'm not sure being great at karaoke-ing Bee Gees counts as a good thing."
"Or dressing up in a snazzy, hilariously 70's white dancing outfit and bustin' some moves."
"Glad to see you guys haven't changed at all."
"Sweet. Could you take care of the squidlings first? We got a boat to ride. RIDE ALL THE WAY TO DOOM ISLAND!"
"One humongous serving of octopus balls coming right up. Nobody shall stand in the way of my blastmaster."
"Aww. No more male bonding. However will I cope?"
"One day at a time, you pervert."
"Pfft. You adore the pervert in me. Just admit it."
"I'm not going to deny that."
"Wow. Leave it to Dekar and his... wind attack."
"If only we could ask him to use his powers to put some wind in our sails."
"I don't want to arrive on Doom Island with our ship smelling like eggy farts."
"And you say my jokes have no class."
"They don't. And I didn't make this one."
"Now that we can attack again, unlike that last time when we could just... uh, attack."
"Um... please just let it rest, Sir."
"Whatever. Shoot now, weird questions later."
"Yeesh, someone's going completely bonkers on the 'fire laser' button here."
"How about we do the same on the turbo button?"
"No, wait!"
"OH GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"
"Oops."
"Let's hear it for the inept pilots. Also, AAAAAIIIEEEEE!"
*yes, let's hear it for the inept pilots...*
"Well... this ship's a bust. And we just had it made too."
"Well, let's see now: Total ships flown = 2. Total ships crashed by Jessica = 2."
"Oh, shut up!"
*aaaiiiiiieeeeeee!*
"So, who's saying what?"
"Hell if I know. You asked me if I was alright, right?"
"Yes."
"Oh, good. Never mind the rest, then."
"Anyway... AZIZ, LIGHT!"
"Yes, I can see that."
"What do you mean by... what are you looking at, you pervert?"
"Oh, nuthin'."
"Shouldn't you at least be wearing a breast plate, Lady Selan?"
"STOP STARING!"
"Well, this deteriorated quickly."
"That voice sounds familiar."
"It does. It's...."
"Um... a miracle?"
"Yeah, no."
"Well, this is probably our last big confrontation. Might as well loot the place blind."
"Man, this is one shiny floor."
"Yet I can't really see our reflection in it."
"And you know what that means, right?"
"WE'RE ALL VAMPIRES!"
"Uh... I doubt that."
"This is... starting to look like psychological warfare."
"Yeah. Hope for a miracle -- or five -- all ye who enter here."
"This goes beyond the whole 'good luck, you'll need it' line, huh?"
"Well, you were the one who said you were 'right above us'. You lied, Gades."
"So I did. And?"
"I... uh... have nothing."
"Well... you do realize you're in for an asswhuppin', right?"
"Did you at least TRAIN for this? Any tricks up your sleeve? Some new fancy magics? Anything?"
"Um... well..."
"Or you'll do what? Wet your iron pants?"
"YOU EAT MY DESTRUCTO-WAVE AND DIE!"
"....."
"....."
"......"
Not having one of his better days, Gades faces the quartet of heroes and their little pet dragon, wondering just where he went wrong, or why he was the focus of the chapter roundup section. All things considered, there was only one thing to do.
*sigh* "I guess that's all he had to say on the subject."
"That was so mortifyingly disappointing, I don't even know where to start."
"Why the hell did we have to go find that sword anyway? It's really starting to look like a huge waste of time now."
"Yeah, I agree. Which explains why it's so cold in this place."
To be continued....
"Well... yes, that is how it works... technically."
"We were going to come get you anyway, though. Getting impatient?"
"No, I came to rub it in your faces."
"....."
"Um... I mean..."
"Well, it's a good thing we're all girded up, then."
"D'oh!"
"You talk too much! Get on with it already."
"Shut up! I was going to."
"Yes, that's all you ever do. Which is to say, you're going to do, but you just go on and on about.. uh, going on... and you never really get anywhere, do you? Even Gades was more proactive than you."
"And that other dude, whatever his name was."
"SHUT UP!"
"Ouch! That... did indeed kind of hurt."
"Why... why is Maxim the only one standing?"
"I can't feel my ears."
"La la la, standing off on the side all safe and stuff."
"Something's pulling at my pants."
"Urgh! What the... hell are the two... doing?!"
"Hey! Whatever it is that you three are imagining, it's not that!"
"His sword is quite happy to see you, it seems."
"SAY NO MORE!"
"Guys, really..."
"This is getting hotter and hotter by the second."
"Eeesh!"
"Well, we're already level 99, so there's not much more to be gained by weaponry. That Dual Sword probably didn't raise my powers that much anyway, stupid token thing."
"Why u mad?"
"Oh, nothing. I just had to endure all this stupid innuendo because of that guy."
"I'm not going to stand here and take all this."
"Oh yeah? What'cha gonna do about it?"
"Sheesh, he's really pathetic as a bully, isn't he?"
"Well... his attack did kind of hurt. I think we might be up for a fight against that guy."
"Eh, whatever. Let's go."
"But before that; you were saying, clone lady?"
"I am NOT a clone. Anyway..."
"Oh, so you're like a super sentai team where all three are the same color. I got it."
"What?! Nooooo!"
"Is this some sort of Aquarion combination? Because if that's the case...."
"Aarrgh! Why are you doing this?! I need to concentrate, so kindly shut the hell up!"
"Wow, yeesh, you three are crazy powerful. Why the hell do you need OUR help?"
"Because reasons. And we're not the main characters, because that counts for a lot, regardless of how much of a huge weenie they are at first."
"Well, at least we came with combat experience included... except we kind of had to fight and level anyway."
"These places aren't big on logic, are they?"
"That's... bad. So, what can we do?"
"That's good, but... didn't you just say we couldn't attack?"
"Yes, but we could still ATTACK attack. You know, attack."
"No, I don't. You just said we could neither move nor attack, but then you said you attacked anyway. That is the very textbook definition of not making any sense."
"But if I didn't attack, they'd still be able to reach us. So what's the problem? You didn't WANT me to attack?"
"I just... never mind. I don't want to think about this any more."
"Even... even though we can't attack. Or move."
"....yes."
"Hooray."
"I thought you stopped it from moving AND attacking."
"I never said we stopped it from attacking."
"Oh. Well... I guess that explains how they could still fire laser beams at... uh, our ship?"
"Uh oh!"
"Let's go to our ship, then."
"Yes, let's hurry to our ship."
"Our ship might be in trouble."
"That won't do at all. Our ship is very important to us. We'd hate to lose our ship."
"Har har. Just go already."
"But... we already defeated two sinistrals WITHOUT the Dual Blade."
"Yes, well... that was probably.... a... uh, lucky strike. Yes, beginner's luck. That's it."
"Yyyyeah, or maybe we just kick that much ass."
"Well... then it's not 'pretty bad', is it?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"I hope you're not going to do anything stupid, like ask me to stay behind or something. I know you're better than that, Maxim."
*cough* "Well...."
"And I married you because I respected you. And you respected me more than just for being a woman who reached a position usually held by men. Am I wrong?"
"No, you aren't. I guess I'm just worried that none of us will be getting out of this, and selfish as I am, I did at least want to save you for our son's sake."
"Well... I guess I can understand that, but..."
"Wife... hugging... tightly... ability to... form coherent thoughts... decreasing fast."
"If only we had time for me to turn your brain into mush. Oh well, we'll put that on hold for now."
"And it was getting all hot and steamy too."
"What is it with you people and lack of privacy?"
"I was hoping to learn something. I'm like the Nudge Nudge man of this world."
"Yeah, I guess I can see that."
"Well, of couHEY! You poking fun of me?"
"Nah."
"Oh, look who's being all braggety now."
"I am not."
"Oh, yes you are."
"And no jinxing now, K?"
"Perish the thought."
"......"
"......"
"We're doomed, aren't we?"
"Yeah, probably."
"Eh, it's fine. We're going up there to kick some ass anyway."
"Just hold out the laser storm some more, and we'll be good to go."
"Oh, for the love of...."
"Let's go up there and see."
"All I wonder now is... what's been keeping them from entering the city before this?"
"That's... uh, some pretty huge squid. They even outsize the hydr... uh, I mean Hidora... and the dragons."
"Giant squid? Get out of here."
"Well, we're going to have to do some cleanup before we can leave."
"Hey! Don't just ignore me, damnit!"
"Well, look who's back."
"It's Mr. Beans."
"Assblastin' his way into action like usual."
"If only Idura was here. Then he could watch me kick ass and cry some more."
"Yep. Cry into his fabulous pink armor."
"Well, I'm not sure being great at karaoke-ing Bee Gees counts as a good thing."
"Or dressing up in a snazzy, hilariously 70's white dancing outfit and bustin' some moves."
"Glad to see you guys haven't changed at all."
"Sweet. Could you take care of the squidlings first? We got a boat to ride. RIDE ALL THE WAY TO DOOM ISLAND!"
"One humongous serving of octopus balls coming right up. Nobody shall stand in the way of my blastmaster."
"Aww. No more male bonding. However will I cope?"
"One day at a time, you pervert."
"Pfft. You adore the pervert in me. Just admit it."
"I'm not going to deny that."
"Wow. Leave it to Dekar and his... wind attack."
"If only we could ask him to use his powers to put some wind in our sails."
"I don't want to arrive on Doom Island with our ship smelling like eggy farts."
"And you say my jokes have no class."
"They don't. And I didn't make this one."
"Now that we can attack again, unlike that last time when we could just... uh, attack."
"Um... please just let it rest, Sir."
"Whatever. Shoot now, weird questions later."
"Yeesh, someone's going completely bonkers on the 'fire laser' button here."
"How about we do the same on the turbo button?"
"No, wait!"
"OH GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"
"Oops."
"Let's hear it for the inept pilots. Also, AAAAAIIIEEEEE!"
*yes, let's hear it for the inept pilots...*
"Well... this ship's a bust. And we just had it made too."
"Well, let's see now: Total ships flown = 2. Total ships crashed by Jessica = 2."
"Oh, shut up!"
*aaaiiiiiieeeeeee!*
"So, who's saying what?"
"Hell if I know. You asked me if I was alright, right?"
"Yes."
"Oh, good. Never mind the rest, then."
"Anyway... AZIZ, LIGHT!"
"Yes, I can see that."
"What do you mean by... what are you looking at, you pervert?"
"Oh, nuthin'."
"Shouldn't you at least be wearing a breast plate, Lady Selan?"
"STOP STARING!"
"Well, this deteriorated quickly."
"That voice sounds familiar."
"It does. It's...."
"Um... a miracle?"
"Yeah, no."
"Well, this is probably our last big confrontation. Might as well loot the place blind."
"Man, this is one shiny floor."
"Yet I can't really see our reflection in it."
"And you know what that means, right?"
"WE'RE ALL VAMPIRES!"
"Uh... I doubt that."
"This is... starting to look like psychological warfare."
"Yeah. Hope for a miracle -- or five -- all ye who enter here."
"This goes beyond the whole 'good luck, you'll need it' line, huh?"
"Well, you were the one who said you were 'right above us'. You lied, Gades."
"So I did. And?"
"I... uh... have nothing."
"Well... you do realize you're in for an asswhuppin', right?"
"Did you at least TRAIN for this? Any tricks up your sleeve? Some new fancy magics? Anything?"
"Um... well..."
"Or you'll do what? Wet your iron pants?"
"YOU EAT MY DESTRUCTO-WAVE AND DIE!"
"....."
"....."
"......"
Not having one of his better days, Gades faces the quartet of heroes and their little pet dragon, wondering just where he went wrong, or why he was the focus of the chapter roundup section. All things considered, there was only one thing to do.
*sigh* "I guess that's all he had to say on the subject."
"That was so mortifyingly disappointing, I don't even know where to start."
"Why the hell did we have to go find that sword anyway? It's really starting to look like a huge waste of time now."
"Yeah, I agree. Which explains why it's so cold in this place."
To be continued....